ive gone off to www.randomsmiles.onsugar.com

byee.

fridayyy

so fast right? i still have LA, chinese, and physics revision. oh boy.

training tomorrow, for some reason, im looking forward to it, so i can get away from homework, get away from all those worksheets.

i think thats all i have to say.

beverly.

scared thoughts.

im so scared.
scared i'll fail physics.
scared i'll fail eoys.
scared of alot of other stuff.

i havent started mugging.
i keep staying on the com, doing silly stuff.
like facebook, msn.
and im just wasting my time.

isnt this dumb?
it finally hit me,
that ive got a whole chunk of things to start revising.
and wow.

and ive got to start picking things up,
i cant keep on distracting myself
i need to go do something
or i'll fail eoys

but it feels too late to start already
cos ive missed this whole week
last mintue mugging doesnt work
ive let myself down

like i shouldnt deserve to be here.
i dont know.

anyway, enough of sadsad talk.

training today.
pretty okay. threw.
bat, OMG I DID 12 SETS. SO MANY. my hands were in blisters lorh.
and i used khaishings batting glove still got blisters!
sigh. bat bat bat. at first felt damn high, then after that got tired.
so yeah, im chopping. oh well. now i know why the balls all go down. hmph.
and, shes pissed at me. they both say so.
and, idk, its not my fault is it? i didnt even ask for it.

went home, realised physics file in school. freaked out.
and i got scolded by my mum. so many times. over this, over that. i dont like it.
but still, push on, forget it.

and and, (haha i dont know why i feel in a ranting mood today) i hate him. everytime, he comes over. i get damn scared. i hate it. really, sometimes i feel like i should get a knife, and hold it up to his throat. but i cant.

okay, im done.

put on a smile and stay happy,
beverly.

heythere.

i know, im posting AGAIN. but sigh thats what you do when its boring.

training today:
throwing.
toss batting. (felt damn dazed here. like butterflies in my head. swirling around. wheee.)
batting with seniors cos so few of us. coach clement toss. OMG I FIRST TO GO SO SCARY. then miss alot sigh. oh well, my balls were like inconsistent. khaishing batter damn well. sigh. idk my head was just floaty, i didnt even see the ball coming, i just stood there and missed completely. like TWICE. stupid right? floaty floaty half drunk kind of thing. i dont know why.
then pack up, (NO PT NO BURPEES SO HAPPY), hugged those bats again, man i missed them. and people like chloe natalya they all say i got some disorder. WELL FINE IF YOU DONT APPRECIATE IT. BATS ARE AWESOME, IN A NON SICK WAY K. :D hahaha.
then go home.

went to jp. nothing much. i think i was in a bad mood the whole time cos of FREAKING ANNOYING SISTER LUH. didnt do much.

then home again. tired but yeahh i NEED THE COM LORH.

trng tomorrow. hopefully got more people going. if not so boring. training so quiet. yet quiet is good in some way. like, not so crowded. more space to throw etc.

sigh. sigh sigh. and im sighing in a good slash bored way. SO ITS GOOD. okay im being random here but yeah.

hmm. nothing else.

beverly.

ive got one scenario can someone explain??

okay, theres a runner at one and two. then batter hits high ball to between 1 and 2. then the runners at one and two forced to run right? but how does double play come in and if the infielder catches the high ball, is it all the runners auto out? or must do that double play thing??

okay, i realise ive learnt vv little in my pri school years of softball. I DONT KNOW WHY. i guess im dumb.

training today.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALYSON!! :D

ugh training again...sigh sigh sigh. glad to see cozette and natalya at training again but...DAMN FREAKING TIRING. if we have pt again i think id rather whack my own head with the bat. oh well.

teehee. damn happy bout something though. not telling, but i love it. :D

andand im getting a glove wheee! hahaha :)

okay i think thats all. bye

beverly.

i love holidays.

yesterday:
went to huihui's house. damn funny lahh.
we played truth or dare.
priscillia, dared to call roy. then we made this script thing for her. this is how it went:
"hello. is this roy?"
"im priscillia."
-laughlaugh for a minute-
"i like you will you be my boyfriend?"
"priscillia."
"you think i really like you ah? its just a dare!"
-hangs up-
OMG. FUNNY LAH. and he was like "okay...okay..." we shouldve done it on loudspeaker. but never mind, ive got her on video. it should be fun to watch!
then we did more stupid dares. and we called christine. heres how i remember it, only i was laughing too much.
"help christine im kidnapped!"
-priscillia wails and screams-
"err...what?" christine says.
-more screaming-
-laughter-
"christine! your my father!" goes shuning, or something like that.
"dont take my shirt off!" priscillia cries.
-laughlaughlaugh-
"wth. bye you wuliao people" christine ends off after some other stuff i dont remember.
HAHA, i found it fun. :D

so then went home.
nothing much. tried doing math. didnt get anywhere. oh well.

this morning:
nothing much. basically facebooking and msn with alyson. not many people online so SADDD RIGHT?
ah well. nothing else, bye!

beverly.

thomas burpee, i hate you.

burpees are prolly the worst invention ever. they harm your knees. my legs hurt LIKE FREAKING CRAP today. i went to watch up then got to go down like 3 flights of stairs after the movie right? then i was like "ow, ow, ow" each step. yes, BURPEES ARE KILLERS. lets murder thomas burpee. wait, he's dead. but i hope he turns in his grave cos THANKS TO YOU MR BURPEE, we have to do like 100 burpees each training. i do in sets of 5, which is damn pathetic and im always the last. but ouch it hurts lah.

okay, enough ranting about burpees. on a brighter note, going to hui hui's house tomorrow. managed to talk my mum into it. :) yay, and i cut my hair. wheee. i think it looks somewhat better.

and this morning, i got that scared/confused/messed up feeling again. i dont like it. feels like somethings weighing down on your chest. you dont know what to do. you dont know whats going on. you dont know anything basically. ugh.

watched up today. like, finally. some parts i dont get, but the show was pretty okay. i think that wilderness boy was cute lah. so funny. and the dog!!

i realised, my mum actually DOES use facebook. only i think she used it to spy on what im doing. she was like, "whats d***, and why are you hugging bats?"
and i just *stone* look at her, shocked. and my brains going in all places. i didnt realised she actually read my status. then *blink blink*, and i just say, "uhhhh i dont know." and smile.
ohmy. ive got to figure out a way to delete her. without her knowing. thats tough.

i'm trying, not to give up. it seems so easy when you say it. but in actual fact it isnt.

beverly.

batting goodness.

i realised i havent blogged for long. like since monday. woah. training and such so yeah.

tues no school. yay. wed, back. went to wanqingyuan. boring. laughedlaughed bout his face, (hehheh) and talked with pris bout random stuff.

thurs:
ive got big complaint bout ms pei. i dont like. ugh nothing i can do right? oh well, live with it. passed her sumin's gift. she got no expression, look at me like im some idiot. sigh. no pt cos of the rain, i like. layshuen, in the bus with some crazy guy. funny, he wanted her as his daughter in law. he said stupid stuff. i just laughed.

friday, went to kap with valynn and tessie. pretty fun. samuel's funny. talked till like 5 plus. rushed home.

saturday:
training was fine. had to wear the freaking mouthguard. alyson is dead for calling me bug teeth cos like when you wear the mouthguard your whole mouth just...looks big. you freaking lucky, dont need to wear! hmph.
pt was DIE. i couldnt feel my legs. at all. and everyone had to wait for alyson and i. sorry!
only 9 ppl came.
went to starbucks after that. nice, im so broke though. and i owe ppl like $5 already. it just piles up.
i need a lesson on saving money. asap.

i want to sign up for tennis or guitar or something.
mum says no time. heck care with her.
things are awkward between jeremy and me. i dont like.
valynn you!
but never mind.
realised something bout her. and just, shocked.
i dont know if its for this or if its really that.
i know this makes no sense writing this.
i want to help. but maybe not.
im confused.
schools been shitty this week.
failed physics quiz.
how come i dont understand?
math is like damn confusing.
i just keep doing stupid stuff in class with valynn.
its fun.
i realised, next years gonna be twice as hard.
schools fine now.
but once i slip up, it'll go rocketing down.
im worried.
i like hugging things.
its got that sense of satisfaction.
i dont know why.
layshuen says ive got a disorder cos i hug things.
uh-oh.
maybe ive got some certain new found love to hugging things, which are non living.
im scared chia will tell my mum.
ive got to do something about it.
i think this is getting long but never mind.
when i think about it, i find my life's screwed up.
oh heck.

and thats all today.