scared thoughts.

im so scared.
scared i'll fail physics.
scared i'll fail eoys.
scared of alot of other stuff.

i havent started mugging.
i keep staying on the com, doing silly stuff.
like facebook, msn.
and im just wasting my time.

isnt this dumb?
it finally hit me,
that ive got a whole chunk of things to start revising.
and wow.

and ive got to start picking things up,
i cant keep on distracting myself
i need to go do something
or i'll fail eoys

but it feels too late to start already
cos ive missed this whole week
last mintue mugging doesnt work
ive let myself down

like i shouldnt deserve to be here.
i dont know.

anyway, enough of sadsad talk.

training today.
pretty okay. threw.
bat, OMG I DID 12 SETS. SO MANY. my hands were in blisters lorh.
and i used khaishings batting glove still got blisters!
sigh. bat bat bat. at first felt damn high, then after that got tired.
so yeah, im chopping. oh well. now i know why the balls all go down. hmph.
and, shes pissed at me. they both say so.
and, idk, its not my fault is it? i didnt even ask for it.

went home, realised physics file in school. freaked out.
and i got scolded by my mum. so many times. over this, over that. i dont like it.
but still, push on, forget it.

and and, (haha i dont know why i feel in a ranting mood today) i hate him. everytime, he comes over. i get damn scared. i hate it. really, sometimes i feel like i should get a knife, and hold it up to his throat. but i cant.

okay, im done.

put on a smile and stay happy,
beverly.